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August 09 i'm bringing sexy backhell yeah! haha i'm bringing sexy back . that song from justin timberlake has recently been shown a gazillion times on my tv and it's pretty addictive . well , i haven't blogged here in ages ... two months in total i believe? it's august now . AUGUST - THAT MEANS MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP REALLY REALLY REALLY SOON. (super obvious hints to people reading this) haha and that also means i have less then a hundred days till VCE ends .
today i had this talk with my careers councilor and it's actually really hard to obtain my desired score of 99.65 out of a hundred for my VCE. that's near perfection ): anyway i really need to get my head into the game and start studying hard. gosh . here's basically an events list coming up for me ..
august 14 - my birthday
august 17 - surprise party
august 19 - YAA trade expo
september 2 - formal , afterparty?
september __ -alice's 18th
september __ - cherise's party
september hols - mock exams
sighs , i better get going now . love you all
April 14 another month in aussiehaha i've decided to update this blog once a month , that seems realistic heh ?
well the past month of march has been a really interesting time in aussie , i've changed schools to wesley college where i'm in year 12 . i guess it's a nice school with really pleasant people but i do miss my vermont friends ): i guess this is life - we just have to adapt to it ..
this sounds really whinny BUT I DO NOT WANT TO GROW UP. i want to turn back times and go back to the ij days with the tenofus just hanging out and studying . those were the times. omfg i sound so old , but guess what . this little girl will be going to uni next year !!! haha i feel too young to enter uni man and get my license . but i guess this is reality , not singapore . singapore seems really different now . i guess that's what going overseas to study does to you haha . it seems really wierd but i feel old and i really want to reclaim my childhood! March 03 one monthwell i've been here for a month already and it's about time to update this blog . well this entire month has been a rollercoaster ride - emotions homwork making new friends - everything , i guess things are just different . they're not that bad , they're just different . i guess life in aussie is so much different from singapore . haha but it isnt necessarily bad. i need to experience more of it , before i make any judgements (: the thing is : singapore will always be my homeland no matter what (: anyway the formal is coming up in june . haha and i'm really excited . i need a dress and i'm going to like leave my hair long - i'll probably put it in a bun or something . haha i want a nice white cocktail dress this time round ! march hols are coming . haha i wonder what's going to happen. haha i think my parents wanna drive up to sydney or something . anyway , i'm going to get my learners during the march hols (: i hope . February 22 is it too much to ask for ?
February 12 way away from here i'll beI AM IN MELBOURNE
& I MISS SEAN
& I MISS 10OFUS
& I MISS GOOD FOOD
& I MISS PRINCE & I MISS MY MOM
& I MISS 1T07
& I MISS CJC
& I MISS IJTP
& I MISS the mrt stations
& I MISS ORCHARD ROAD.
i've realised that it's useless putting up a list of things that i miss about singapore- cuz i'll just end up missing them more . and the list will be endless ): haha so i've decided to work hard here , fly back during june hols and shopshopshop (: with my darling and with my friends (: December 11 my christmas wishlistdear santa claus ,
my name is nicole de silva and i'm 16 this year . i've been a really good girl this year - i studied for my o's , had fun with my friends , loved my boyfriend wholeheartedly , was a relatively nice sister and lastly a stressed-out daughter. santa , i know there are some naughty things i did like LGD(let's get drunk night) , drinking after prom , and wanting to club and hopefully will do so by the end of the year .. but , on the average , i've been a good girl. so please santa , fulfill my materialistic wishes . p/s - i'll put extra cookies and milk near the xmas tree!
much love ;
nicole <3 November 01 another something.sean | haha what a joke dear. says: nicole de silva A.W sumitra LiYingSha NiKeEr A.K.A Cheeky Monkey, sometimes A.K.A Cheeky Meenky pee pee poot poot .sean | haha what a joke dear. says: your name gets longer each time October 27 and i don't know what to do yet again....well just came back from school (emaths lesson was cancelled) and i'm just thinking about things between 'us' . i feel really mixed up inside whenever i do think about 'us' it's just really wierd. it's like sometimes we can be happyhighexcitedloving while sometimes we can be superboreddullfightingbitching . i think things are just really complicated right now. the 'us' is not really there anymore, we're more like two people who have so many things to do ... you have your sub papers while i have my o's .. and you also have your chinese A's to contend with.. well that's life & somehow i just wish we can realise there's more to life than studying right now.
this is just crap. anyway , i better have a bath and finish some chemistry. toodles everyone (:
OR MAYBE i'm just being pmsy and slightly pensive and paranoid . October 18 back to square onei made a very big mistake today and i'm just really cheesed off. i've practically wasted like half my day . going out to collect the earrings from aunty belinda and actually thinking i coudl study out . what the fuck. i went to starbucks but that didn't work because i cant't stnad studying alone. futhermore ,my house is so bloody noisy thanks to olivia de silva who's so fucking DEAF she has to blast the music in her room and BLAST THE FUCKING TV . and no one else seems to have any bloody consideration that it's MY O LEVELS either , just watch their bloody tv and make fucking noises. i hate it . going to darling's house was really upsetting too in a sense. it's like i wanted to stay but i knew i wouldn't be allowed . sighs . it's that bad , but his house is really PEACEFUL . blearghhh . evil maid , evil aunt , nice uncle. anyway i'm going to lock myself in my room and pray that everyone would be CONSIDERATE AND SHUT UP. and prince is getting irritating too . continuously licking me and wanting to play ball , but i really cant stay angry at him for long. he's way too cute. October 02 eeyyerrrr . don't pick your nose. (:haha that was just for laughs and i know before you all close down the webpage because you guys think it's all about MUSHY stuff haha think again alright . this is going to be an entry on singaporean kids . and please , before anyone tries to like sue me or make me get suspended from school or something (like those 5 jc girls of which one is my senior) i just want to let you guys know this is my opinion and that's all . it's nothing offensive and everything here is just for laughs .
.sean says: muackz nicole this is the end of my innocence. says: muackx .sean says: muack + z = kisses from sean .sean says: muack + x = kisses from nicole
HAHA i think that's rather cute so i decided to post it here . ANYWAY , kids in singapore are irritating at times. usually i'm a big fan of little kids because they're really cute but when it comes to those who are too spoilt and downright disgusting i cannot stand them . haha an example would be my youger sister. she's so disgusting. she comes home , changes to shorts and she picks her nose w/o tissue in frotn of the tv and when i say stop it . she doesnt and gives me the wth look and complains to my mom . WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO PEOPLE ? haha another example would be this down right disgusting brat i saw that day on the bus. the bus was kinda crowded so there was really no space. that kid kept yelling and screaming his bloody head off saying that he wanted a seat. sighs . what can i say. manners? missing. cuteness factor : -1242355543643675334 . vercit : down right disgusting
anyway tag more people. haha it really makes me smile (: September 29 people like her make me sickthis is for rant sake only . i cannot stnad people like her who just ruins the image of IJ alright. fine , she could be a nice person but the thing is i dont know her personally. clubbing fine . being wil/crazy fine . BUT NOT SMOKING.
" oh i smoke socially , beacuse all my friends do it , so i shall too. then i can be considered cool , isnt that fantastic ? i am not addicted to it ,( just that i am bloody insecure) and since everyone is doing it , so i shall too. then i'll fit right in ."
BUT FOR GODS SAKE YOU ARE STILL SMOKING . LOSER.
to people out there. dont smoke . it's bad and it's even worse if you're smoking ILLEGALY esp if you're underage. i guess once you reach the legal age to smoke , the choice is yours . but till then dont.
*disclaimer : this is entirely fictional and whatever reference to real life people can not be held against the author . September 28 a heart?????? ?????? ?????????????? ???????????????? ????????????? ?????????? ??????? ???? ?? ?
a picture paints a thousand words but a thousand words arent enough to let you know how much you mean to me September 24 three two one , i love you (;nicole this is the end of my innocence. says: WLAN doesnt work. .sean says: sigh nicole this is the end of my innocence. says: i think someone configured the internet access by accident.. nicole this is the end of my innocence. says: owells. nicole this is the end of my innocence. says: nevermind .sean says: sigh .sean says: this sucks nicole this is the end of my innocence. says: hugs nicole this is the end of my innocence. says: and dear , remember to wake up in time alright? .sean says: i have some things to tel tyiy nicole this is the end of my innocence. says: you have khos tomorrow.. nicole this is the end of my innocence. says: tyiy ? nicole this is the end of my innocence. says: whos't hat.. .sean says: tell you .sean says: i have kohs .sean says: so boring nicole this is the end of my innocence. says: oh , what is it ? .sean says: i miss you nicole this is the end of my innocence. says: i miss you too. .sean says: muackz nicole this is the end of my innocence. says: muackx. nicole this is the end of my innocence. says: jinx! nicole this is the end of my innocence. says: i typed it FIRST. nicole this is the end of my innocence. says: .sean says: muackz .sean says: i love you nicole this is the end of my innocence. says: i love you. nicole this is the end of my innocence. says: invite me to play tictactoe
You have just sent a Nudge!
nicole this is the end of my innocence. says: i have to get off the comp at 1045 dear. nicole this is the end of my innocence. says: i want to call your house desperately now. .sean says: ok .sean says: tic tac nicole this is the end of my innocence. says: i can call? .sean says: no call
September 17 i'll keep you my dirty little secrethaha i've decided to post about my dirty little secrets (: so here goes
secret one #1
i like to read horoscopes in the life section everyday because i kind of believe in horoscopes. haha i check mine first then his and i'll see whether they kinda contrast haha. there was this incident when both of ours pointed out that we were going to fight with loved ones and haha we ended up fighting that day . wierd right?
secret two #2
i am not as nice and innocent as i seem to be. people , please stop thinking that i'm a sweet innocent girl based on looks alone! haha i am actually really evil inside :D haha i can bitch and rant and be a total idiot at times so yeah. if you guys do get to know me better, you would also know that i am not that innocent. i happen to have a wide vocab of swear words (my personal artilary for my siblings and who-knows-what-that-irritates-me) and i do know lots of dirty things haha like balls and sticks and stuff . but that doesnt mean i am a pervert. it's just natural ? :/
secret three #3
i think i am fat and i can be very insecure about that issue. especially my arms beacuse they are extremely flabby . i really wish that i could have nice toned arms .
secret four #4
i love my boyfriend veryveryvery much. haha that's not really a secret but i just wanted to put it here so that he knows i love him veryveryveryvery much haha . and i'm running out of secrets
secret five #5
(which might not come as much of a surprise) i am not mugging hard enough for prelims. it's evident because i'm spending my time frivoulously here haha. anyway , i HAVE A HORRIBLY SHORT ATTENTION SPAN. that's why i need so many reminders to focus on ym work. my attention span is quote "shorter than a two year old's" -roseann haha so yeah. i'm going to back to finish flowers for algernon. there's so much to write about stupid charlie gordon. haha
THATS ALL FOR MY DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS. :D
HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOYED THAT HAAH September 12 I WANTSIX POINTS.
TO SHOP.
TO HAVE FUN WITH GIRLFRIENDS
TO STUDY.
AND GET PAMPERED.
nicole this is the end of my innocence. says:
whatever. .sean silly little girl says: but i liked the idea that you sent it to me .sean silly little girl says: or where you found it .sean silly little girl says: and shared it with me .sean silly little girl says: cause thats very sweet of you .sean silly little girl says: silly .sean silly little girl says: its raining .sean silly little girl says: take care darling .sean silly little girl says: clouds look dark dark .sean silly little girl says: keep warm .sean silly little girl says: silly girl .sean silly little girl says: am worried about you nicole this is the end of my innocence. says: moddy thunder .sean silly little girl says: and for you all the time nicole this is the end of my innocence. says: sound of thuinder. .sean silly little girl says: hugs nicole this is the end of my innocence. says: moody* haha i wasn't even pissed off , but just bored and my darling is just plain sweet :D September 05 and i know it's true ....that i'll never be with you .
my favourtie lines from james blunt - you're beautiful..
that song brings back so many memories .. and most of them are about him.. haha he used to sing it to me before i sleep and right now i wonder , where a been re we now ? in this life of ours , in our relationship...
the past few days have been a rollercaoster ride , with two polar extemes , happy and sad , up and down and right now i don't know where we're going and headed to .. i just wish things could go back to normal . to the days before his phone was confiscated where we just didnt have so much stress and trouble ..
i wish my dreams could come true. August 20 migrationthere comes a point in everyone's life . it may come once it may come twice. or it may just come every once a month when you just get so pissed of at everything.
i think right now , i'm just pissed off at everything everyone every little shitspeckofdust for no APPARENT reason. it sounds totally ridiculous right ?for eg. my boyfriend's being totally sweet and supportive and he's really tired and all i do is BE A BITCH. (i think i ought to like start a bitching club. who knows ? it might actaully be a good cca.)
i think there might be something behind all this anger. something i dont want to face , and that's leaving everything behind . migration. boom spalt in your face. my parents are trying to migrate , shift the entire family all the way to the land of kangaroos . and today , we just went through the so-called final phase , and that's the medical check-up.
i really don't know what i am up to right now . my head's spinning i'm being a grouch and i'm just hurting everyone around me . sighs , i DON'T WANT TO GO i really DONT WANT TO. but who knows ? it might actually make things a whole lot better , less stress etc.
"Be My Escape"
I’ve given up on giving up slowly, I’m blending in so You won’t even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate This one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemption because I know to live you must give your life away And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because I gotta get outta here I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake I gotta get outta here And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape. I’m giving up on doing this alone now Cause I’ve failed and I’m ready to be shown how He’s told me the way and I’m trying to get there And this life sentence that I’m serving I admit that I’m every bit deserving But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because I gotta get outta here Cause I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can’t shake I gotta get outta here And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape. I am a hostage to my own humanity Self detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made And all I’m asking is for You to do what You can with me But I can’t ask You to give what You already gave Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and I’ve been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because I’ve gotta get outta here I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake I’ve gotta get outta here And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape. I fought You for so long I should have let You in Oh how we regret those things we do And all I was trying to do was save my own skin But so were You So were You i'm sorry darling , for the way i acted . i hope i get over whatever this is soon.. i really do. i love you and the thought of letting you go is KILLING ME. RIPPING MY HEART OUT. August 17 i am boredI put my makeup on a saturday night I try and make it happen Try to make it all right I know I make mistakes I'm living life day to day It's never really easy but it's ok Wake Up Wake Up On a saturday night Could be New York Maybe Hollywood and Vine London, Paris maybe Tokyo There's something going on anywhere I go Tonight Tonight Yeah, tonight People all around you Everywhere that you go People all around you They don't really know you Everybody watching like it's some kind of show Everybody's watching They don't really know you now (They don't really know you) (They don't really know you) And forever August 03 there comes a time..when a girl becomes a woman
and a boy becomes a man.
this is for someone's who's very dear to me . someone who's seen me though light and dark . someone who's seen me laugh , me at my ugliest and me and me at my best. someone who's been there and at the same time who's not been there but was omni-present for the past year and seven months. and that's none other than you darling.
i know right now , we're both facing a stomach full of insecurities . and we both have commiments to ourselves. but looking back , i think there's something we can learn . remember that time , when it was your o's ? and we faced a simliar dilema? remember something you said ?
"if you keep thinking it's going to happen , the more it will happen"
& i wou;d go "but if we dont prepare for the future , we might not make the best out of it"
& you'll say "the future is unpredictable"
it's just a cycle baby . like you said the future is unpredictable , yet it is withing our control. and that's by doing what we can today to make tomorrow better. hugs* i love you very much dear and i don't intend to lose you . so baby boy , let's be strong. not just for ourselves but for each other. you're my pillar of strength and i want to be your supporting structure as well.
the bearbears and the wowos will testify to that (:
come what may , i'll love you till my dying day.
i love you darling. July 31 just to get awaywe talked about our lives
till the sun came up
and now i'm thinking about
how i wished i could go back
just to spend one more day with you.
sometimes it comes down to this : tolerance , trust and love.
currently , my life seems to be a bore STUDYING NON STOP. my darling boyfriend is having so many activites and i'm just upset. it's unfair that he gets to enjoy so much while i'm stuck at home. it just IS. i can't help this green little monster in me , that comes out and in it's spiteful manner ticks everyone off. it just goes on thinking "it's not fair. he's enjoying and you arent. it is NOT fair. you have your bloody o levels . he gets to go out do plays make new fiends everything you love and enjoy doing and you're just stuck at home with your bloody books." AND I WANT THAT MONSTER TO STOP. cuz it's hurting me , and more importantly him. so tell me what i should do. |
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